Week 2 fantasy football lames: Cam Newton not yet a must-start

Each week the Noise highlights 10 somewhat un-obvious names who he believes will leave egg on his face. To qualify, each player must be started in at least 50% of Yahoo leagues. Speaking as an accountability advocate, I will post results, whether genius or moronic, the following week using the scoring system shown here (Scoring thresholds – QB: 19 fantasy points, RB: 12 points, WR: 11 points, TE: 10 points; 0.5 PPR). If you’re a member of TEAM HUEVOS, reveal your Week 2 Lames in the comments section below.

Cam Newton, QB, New England Patriots

(51% started in Yahoo; DK DFS: $6,400)
Matchup: at SEA
Vegas line/Total: SEA -4.5, 45

And in the blink of an eye, Newton, after a bum shoulder and general ineffectiveness drained his fantasy worth his final two seasons in Carolina, is promptly back in fantasy gamers’ good graces. In the opener against Miami, he rolled up 25.7 Yahoo fantasy points, instantly causing knee-jerk reactors to proclaim wild rest-of-season predictions. The metaphorical keggers thrown on social media may be a bit premature. Yes, Newton’s 75 rush yards and two scores were intoxicating, but his absent vertical production (155-0-0) suggests the cops may soon shut down the party. With few downfield weapons, he’s entirely rushing-dependent. Sell high.

In a clash that delivered on the “BET THE OVER!” hype, Seattle, primarily with a sizable lead over the second half, submitted to the will of Matt Ryan’s endless bombardment. Though stingy in the trenches, they conceded 450 pass yards, 9.2 average intended air yards and two touchdowns. For Shaq Griffin and Friends, expect a much different outcome in the home opener with Cam and his dink-and-dunk style under center. Bank on all-world safety and premier run defender Jamal Adams to function as spy, shadowing the passer on designed RPO plays.

Maybe I’m terribly wrong about Newton. It’s possible he’s indeed resurrected from the fantasy grave, but the Seahawks are bound to test his largely one-dimensional skill set.

Fearless forecast: 193 passing yards, 1 passing touchdown, 1 interception, 46 rushing yards, 0 rushing touchdowns, 15.3 fantasy points

Melvin Gordon, RB, Denver Broncos

(77%; $5,200)
Matchup: at PIT
Vegas line/Total: PIT -7.5, 41.5

The repeated denials Saquon Barkley endured Monday against Pittsburgh’s reborn Steel Curtain was comparable to yours truly’s advances toward the opposite sex during high school. OK, any given day. Stonewalled behind the line of scrimmage eight times, he channeled Kalen Ballage en route to six rush yards and zero scores on 15 carries. Yikes. Point the finger at the Giants offensive line all you want, but Tyson Alualu and Co. swarmed ball carriers like desperate housewives did accidentally leaked Captain America nudes.

In his Broncos debut, Gordon displayed an appreciable pep in the step. He was spelled often by Phillip Lindsay early against Tennessee, but the complement’s halftime exit due to turf toe sprung the offseason signee loose. Dominating the opportunity share he accounted for 86 total yards and a TD on 18 touches. Most impressively, he posted the highest YAC per attempt (4.47) among Week 1 rushers and forced six missed tackles. All told, he resembled the Gordon from 2018 — powerful and slashing. Pittsburgh, though, is an intimidating foe. Likely to see numerous stacked fronts, Gordon, even operating as the bell cow back, will be stuffed often.

Fearless forecast: 16 carries, 46 rushing yards, 4 receptions, 22 receiving yards, 0 touchdowns, 8.8 fantasy points

Raheem Mostert, RB, San Francisco 49ers

(81%; $6,400)
Matchup: at NYJ
Vegas line/Total: SF -7, 42.5

An adrenaline-pumping coed running away from an axe-wielding serial killer in any number of horror flicks. That’s the equivalent speed “Maserati” Mostert, who clocked in at 22.73 miles per hour, showcased on his 76-yard catch-and-run touchdown last week against Arizona. For a player underutilized in the pass game a season ago, it was refreshing to see an uptick in the area. The Niners, feasted upon by the injury imp, were Bol Bol thin at receiver, forcing Jimmy Garoppolo to lean on Mostert and Jerick McKinnon throughout their defeat at the hands of the Arizona Cardinals. He underwhelmed in YAC per attempt (1.87), but the rusher’s 19 total touches, 151 combined yards and the score wiped away concerns.

The Jets, as usual, were ideal subject matter for stand-up comedy at the HaHa Hole. Last week in Buffalo, they made Josh Allen look like peak Jim Kelly, as they yielded 312 yards and two TDs to the passer. Though humiliated vertically, New York resembled the largely impenetrable front from 2019. Steve McLendon (8.3 stop%) and Henry Anderson (11.1) limited Bills rushers Devin Singletary and Zack Moss to a paltry 3.2 yards per carry. San Francisco’s offensive line is beastly, but cross-country trips often do strange things to visiting teams. Expect a more spirited than usual performance by the Puddle Jumpers.

Fearless forecast: 14 attempts, 51 rushing yards, 2 receptions, 15 receiving yards, 0 touchdowns, 7.6 fantasy points

Will Fuller, WR, Houston Texans

(57%; $6,300)
Matchup: vs. BAL
Vegas line/Total: BAL -6.5, 52.5

Leading up to the season opener in Kansas City, drum skins were worn thin by members of the fantasy community as they repeatedly banged positive beats about Fuller. If only he staves off the injury imp, enthusiasts said, a WR2 or better season is a foregone conclusion.

Racing off the line against the Chiefs, Fuller provided an instant return. On 10 targets, he grabbed eight passes for 112 yards. The end zone remained elusive, but his 46.7% team air yards percentage left investors grinning from ear to ear. Brandin Cooks, once unencumbered by his bothersome quad, will eventually eat into Fuller’s target share, but he has all the makings to contribute steady WR2 results.

This week, however, may be an exception. Down Jimmy Smith (back spasms), Baltimore didn’t skip a beat Week 1, flattening Cleveland from start to finish. Marcus Peters and Marlon Humphrey were targeted 11 times, conceding just five receptions for 38 yards and zero touchdowns. Widely perceived fantasy starters Odell Beckham Jr. and Jarvis Landry were rendered useless. Deshaun Watson, placed under duress on 35% of his dropbacks, played unevenly. Against a Ravens front that applied heavy pressure on Baker Mayfield (26.7% of dropbacks), Fuller, battling wits with Baltimore’s top-flight secondary, posts sobering numbers.

Fearless forecast: 5 receptions, 67 receiving yards, 0 touchdowns, 9.2 fantasy points

Terry McLaurin, WR, Washington Football Team

(78%; $5,900)
Matchup: at ARZ
Vegas line/Total: ARZ -6.5, 46

Owned. Dominated. Punked. These were common words used to describe McLaurin’s brief history versus the rival Eagles. In his previous two matchups he slapped them around to the tune of 10 receptions, 255 yards and two touchdowns. However, the sophomore receiver was knocked down a few pegs in Week 1 notching a mediocre 5-61-0 line on seven targets. Splashier efforts are on the docket, but Dwayne Haskins’ continued inaccuracy (QB32/QB32 in adjusted completion percentage WK1) is an ongoing storyline.

Facing an emaciated San Francisco WR corps, Arizona DBs bottled up their assignments with relative ease. Patrick Peterson, determined to regain his All-Pro form after a disappointing 2019, was targeted only three times on 37 coverages, yielding no catches. Presumably set to be McLaurin’s shadow, he’s someone to fear. It’s doubtful the Cardinals match last week’s defensive intensity, but considering Haskins’ shortcomings, it’s certainly within the range of outcomes. If he registers subpar numbers again, fire off a low-ball offer. Washington gets the friendly Browns in Week 3.

Fearless forecast: 4 receptions, 63 receiving yards, 0 touchdowns, 8.3 fantasy points

Bonus lames (Over 50% started)

RB: Malcolm Brown, LAR (Line: LAR -1.5; DK: $5,700) — Recency bias has addictive qualities equivalent to any illicit street drug. Pop a pill and instant euphoria takes hold, whisking away junkies to the purest state of bliss. Brown, even off a brilliant 18-79-2-3-31-0 breakout performance, could come crashing down. He nearly doubled up Cam Akers on snaps played (44-24), but the overall workload gap was much tighter (21-15). The rookie isn’t going away. Visually he was unimpressive, but he did force five missed tackles. In what could turn into a hot-hand situation, Brown isn’t a sure-fire RB2 lock. The matchup, too, isn’t the most favorable as Philly held Washington backs to a hilarious 2.1 yards per carry in Week 1. Tread lightly. (FF: 12-46-0, 2-17-0, 7.3 fantasy points)

WR: Tyler Lockett, SEA (Line: Sea -4.5; DK: $5,400) — The bond Russell Wilson and Lockett have on explosive pass plays downfield is an onscreen chemistry akin to Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio in Titanic. Unfortunately for the wide receiver, he — similar to the famous ship — could hit the ocean floor this week against New England. The McCourtys and Stephon Gillmore picked up where they left off in 2019, a season in which they handcuffed wide receivers. DeVante Parker and Preston Williams were reduced to six total catches for 88 yards and zero scores on 11 targets. Overall, Ryan Fitzpatrick tallied a pathetic 6.3 pass yards per attempt. An ordinary Wilson is Fitzpatrick’s greatest version, but the Pats rarely give up chunk gains. (FF: 4-59-0, 7.9 fantasy points)

WR: Keenan Allen, LAC (Line: KC -8.5; DK: $5,700) — The Tyrod Taylor Era started with a whimper against a Cincinnati Bengals secondary most believed would be a bottom third unit. He was tentative, inaccurate (QB26 in adjusted completion percentage) and generally out of sync with everyone but Mike Williams and Hunter Henry. As a result, Allen, identical to Austin Ekeler, was a forgotten man. Targeted eight times, he caught four passes for a wretched 37 yards and no scores. The veteran flourishes on quick-hit routes in the intermediate field, a department Taylor displays inadequacy in. He’ll have his moments, but the 6-8 reception performances we’ve grown accustomed to seeing will be few and far between, even in a game the Chargers will likely scoreboard chase. (FF: 5-55-0, 8.0 fantasy points)

TE: George Kittle, SF (Line: SF -7; DK: $6,700) — In words no sensible person thought they would type this early in the 2020 season, if Kittle suits up Week 2, he’s completely untrustworthy. Rolling against Arizona before a sprained knee weakened his ability to push and cut, he could be shackled to the line, relegated to run blocking, if active. The Jets are undeniably dreadful and are an exploitable matchup. Adding Mohamad Sanu off waivers earlier this week, it’s clear the Niners are desperate for warm bodies at receiver. San Francisco WRs account for a futile four receptions for 41 yards and no scores Week 1. In normal conditions, it’s a smash spot for Kittle, but how impactful he might be is anyone’s best guess. Logan Thomas (at ARZ), Dan Arnold (vs. WAS) and Jonnu Smith (vs. JAX) are viable alternatives if you’re not looking to roll the dice. (FF: 3-31-0, 4.6 fantasy points)

DST: Chicago Bears (Line: Chi -5.5; DK: $3,700) — Ryan Pace would probably run a Taco Bell franchise conveniently anchored in a location teeming with dive bars straight into the ground. He’s that in over his head. Not paying Allen Robinson, who has earned every penny of whatever he wants, is indisputable negligence. Due to the GM’s incompetencies, the Bears have several glaring flaws. QB is obvious, but the secondary is average at best. Daniel Jones is turnover prone, sure, but he played effectively against Pittsburgh. Battling a Chicago defense that allowed 7.1 yards per attempt last week to the Kenny Golladay-less Lions, he’ll deliver better than expected numbers. (FF: 23 PA, 388 YDSA, 3 SCK, 1 TO, 5.0 fantasy points)