It’s time once again, boys and girls – time for the annual Joe Thomas Draft! My favorite time of the year, by far.

Joe Thomas is the best player to have never play in a single playoff game – at least, in the modern era, when everyone and his brother makes the postseason. The Cleveland Browns were such a disaster during his tenure that one of top five tackles of all time never played a meaningful snap after the regular season, which is a great disservice to those of us who like watching good football players play good football. He’s not alone, either – every year, over half the league’s teams have to stay home in January, simply because they didn’t manage to “win enough games” to qualify or some nonsense such as that. One day, Roger Goodell will fix this tragic oversight when he ensures that all 32 teams make the playoffs, but until then, we must take matters into our own hands.

The Joe Thomas Draft is a hypothetical draft where each of the 14 playoff teams draft players from the 18 squads which ended up not reaching the postseason – the sixth and seventh seeds get an extra pick at the end to give them the biggest boost. With it, we’ll get to see the superstars we want to see on the grandest stages of them all participate in January football, and no, the Pro Bowl does not and has never counted. We’re replacing that nonsense with our own, patented brand of nonsense as we gear up for the playoffs.

The Draft also lets us take a look at the weaknesses each playoff team has as we enter the playoffs – the spots where they can be attacked, the spots where injuries have left them at a disadvantage, the spots where they are getting by on bailing wire and hope. It’s too late past the trade deadline to do anything, but hey, with the Joe Thomas Draft in effect, teams could rent a solution for a month! It’s the best of all what-if scenarios, if you ask me.

One final reminder of the rules:

• • We have 14 playoff teams and 18 non-playoff teams.

• • Every playoff team may pick, in reverse order of seed, one player from any eliminated team.

• • Picks alternate by conference. The AFC picks first because the Lions ended up with the best record in football.

• • Only one player may be selected from any eliminated team. That’s very relevant this year, with Joe Burrow, Ja’Marr Chase and Trey Hendrickson all on Cincinnati – we get one of the three, not the full trifecta.

• • Injuries exist; you can’t magically heal Maxx Crosby’s ankle or Christian McCaffrey’s calf and put them in your lineup. We’ll give a little slack for players who were shut down because their teams were eliminated, but you have to be realistically able to play in order to help a team.

• • Yes, in reality, it would take time to learn a new playbook or adjust to new teammates, but this is a what-if fantasy scenario and we’re rolling with it.

So, without further ado, welcome to the…

Eighth Annual Joe Thomas Draft